What matter of man am I? {Helga + Godric}

[Haine]

"Okay Class - and what have we learnt today?"
A sea of hands shot up in the air. Godric smiled, pointing to a student in the back row.
"Uhm... what was your name again?"
Silence.
"If you don't tell me, I'm going to have to come up with my own name for you, which you will probably not like. It'll be something like Reno Mc...Ruler the fourth. Now would you prefer to be Reno, or are you going to tell me your name?"
"It's Travers, Professor."
Godric nodded, gesturing for the student to now proceed to answering his question.
"We've learnt that it is a bad idea to anger Professor Slytherin, as he seems to have glued your shoes to the ceiling."
Godric was unaware of this. He looked up slowly and nervously to discover that there was in fact a pair of his shoes stuck to the ceiling. The cocky bastard.
"...Thankyou Travers. Take five house points. Class dismissed." He said with a sigh, impatiently waiting for a now snickering class to file out of his classroom. Knowing Good ol' Cocky Bastard Sally, they were stuck up there with a permanent sticking charm. There was no way that Godric could get them down. So instead he tried to ignore them and started to mark.

This lasted about five minutes before he gave up and decided to go bother someone else to the point of distraction take a walk and see the fellow founders. Salazar should be teaching right now and Godric was once again hiding from Rowena for doing something apparently 'very stupid' that he would rather not go into details about.
That left Helga. Her classroom was nearby and the door was open.
Godric smiled, leaning on the doorframe.
"Doing anything interesting?"

[/center]

[zara :]]

{helgasusannehufflepuff}
what you're looking for has been here the whole time

[/i] that Helga began questioning Rowena's dream of a school. Maybe because schools usually involved kids, and kids were the one thing Helga hated more than Sally, if that were possible. Kids were the bane of her existence. And they couldn't cook food if their lives depended on it! Really, despite all her best efforts, ever single thing the 6th year boys managed to make was burned beyond recognition, or had been used as a projectile and was now in pieces and splattered all over the walls. At least she learned that pies made excellent weapons.

After happily shepherding the boys out of her now destroyed classroom, Helga sat down at her desk and surveyed the damage: a broken window, several broken dishes that littered the floor, and a slightly smoking first year huddled in the corner. Wait, what? Oh crap. "Oh my god." How did a first year even get into her class in the first place? She only taught 5th & 6th years today. "Dear Lord, how did you get in here? And why are you on fire?!" The first year cowered as Helga managed to put out the fire on his eyebrows. "Now, shoo!" After double checking her room to see if anyone else was hiding and/or on fire, she sat down tired at her desk. Before she really knew it, she was slouched forward, head on her desk, asleep.

"Doing anything interesting?" The voice startled her into awareness. “Holy balls!!" Helga exclaimed, sitting bolt upright and looking in the direction of the voice, where a very amused and attractive Godric leaned against the doorframe. She heaved a sigh of relief, and slumped back into her chair. “Never do that again unless you want to scare me to death.” After managing to get her pulse somewhat under control (which was entirely impossible with Godric standing there so casually) she hung her head in her hands to hide the yawn that tugged on the edges of her mouth. “If you count marking these inedible failures as interesting, then yes. Otherwise, no. Did I mention I hate children? Anyways-” yawn “- what about you? Any delinquent kids in your class like the evil devil spawn I have to misfortune to teach?”

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[Haine]

As much as he hated to admit it, Godric was really struggling not to laugh. It was pretty much a real warzone in the classroom, and the kid on fire didn't really help the sensible thing that he had going on. Godric's straight face game lasted around five minutes before he burst into hysterics, choking out apologies between breaths. Hopefully by doing this, Helga wouldn't kill him and/or make him go away where he'd have nothing to do but bother Rowena or try and get his shoes off the ceiling.

"Sorry. I'm not laughing at you. But are they really that bad?" Godric managed to ask after finally regaining his composure. Sure it had taken a while - around five minutes or so- but at least he appeared to be sane again. Godric let out a small sigh, thinking back to the lesson he'd just taught. "Sadly, my class are boring. Work brilliantly, so silent that they won't even tell me their names and I have to threaten to call them something outragous instead... I'd offer to swap with you, yet I don't know the first thing about cooking either."

Then Godric remembered something. "You wouldn't happen to know of a uber secret special way to take down a permanent sticking charm, would you?"
Yup - Godric pretty much lived off hope.

ooc//Short because I g2g. DDD=

[zara :]]

{helgasusannehufflepuff}
what you're looking for has been here the whole time

[/i] to be 6' 4". And slightly terrifying," she explained, shrugging. It was true. She would just never be intimidating enough to scare an entire class of 16 year old boys into silence.

"You wouldn't happen to know of a uber secret special way to take down a permanent sticking charm, would you?" Godric asked suddenly, looking hopeful. She shook her head. "There's probably a reason why it's called a Permanent Sticking Charm. But you should ask Rowena. She's much smarter than me."
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[Haine]

Godric smiled slightly, moving from the door frame to sit on the end of Helga's desk. It was one of the very few places that wasn't covered with papers or had burn marks on it. "I'm sure you don't suck at teaching. You just were unfortunate to end up with the class of doom--" he started before realising that as hard as he was trying to be comforting, he was probably just making the poor girl feel worse. For a while, the two just remained silent. When he thought about it, Godric realised that the atmosphere was a lot like when they were lost in the forest trying to get here. Up until now, Godric had gladly forgotten about then.

"So you think that height's the problem?" Godric asked, thinking this idea through. If this were true, then Godric would probably much prefer not being 6' 4". "I don't think I agree there. It's probably more how loud you can be, not how tall you are. Or something else. Your glares could probably do some damage to them." he said thoughtfully, staring up at the ceiling. There were even burn marks up there too... ONE WAS IN THE SHAPE OF A KITTEN! THAT WAS SO....
moving on.

... Terrifying? Sure she said slightly terrifying, but terrifying nonetheless. For some reason, that really bothered Godric. He tried to ignore the sinking feeling inside him and looked at Helga, non-plussed. "Do you think I'm terrifying? Be honest." he said, a faint grin on his face.

Sadly this was also followed by more dissapointment. "You don't know any? You're probably right." There truly did appear to be no way at all to get his shoes down off the ceiling. "I could... yet I can't. I'm currently hiding from Rowena again, and Sally is the reason that I'm even asking in the first place."

[zara :]]

{helgasusannehufflepuff}
what you're looking for has been here the whole time

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[Haine]

Well what could he say? Helga had an exceptionally good point there. Most boys (or anyone for that matter) would never have the patience to even bother to think about making something like that. He certainly didn't. Yet of course Godric couldn't say that. "It all depends on what type of pie." That worked well.
"I don't know about action packed, but it certainly seems dangerous. Fire, knives, all that jazz..." Godric replied, laughing along with Helga.
She had such a lovely laugh...
"Well that's a good point... You've got a wand and know what to do with it. Threaten them with magic, perhaps?" he suggested, throwing random ideas out into the open. It had never hurt him to do so so far.

Then Godric found himself laughing once again. Not really terrifying? The sinking feeling had suddenly dissapeared. "Believe me- being this tall isn't that fun. I feel like a bloody giant when I have to teach the first years and it always feels like I could stand on them. Well , we all could in one sense, but you get what I mean..."
Damn it. He was now rambling and probably not making the tiniest bit of sense. Godric frowned.

"Yes. Because the little Ravenclaw would clearly rip my head off and put it on a spike in the entrance hall as a warning to all the students and anyone else who's stupid enough to dare cross her." The sad thing was that Godric wasn't joking about this. He laughed anyway. "The cocky bastard decided that it would be a fun idea to stick a pair of my shoes to the ceiling in my classroom. One of my students pointed it out to me before I came here." He paused for a moment, trying to think of what could have provoked this attack. There were so many things that Godric had done... where should he start?
"I have absolutely no idea what would have made him want to do this..."
Liar. ;)

[zara :]]

{helgasusannehufflepuff}
what you're looking for has been here the whole time

[/i] off sometimes," she added. But the mental image of Godders cooking was just too much, and she hastily disguised her laugh with a cough. It came out more like a snort. "I don't know about action packed, but it certainly seems dangerous. Fire, knives, all that jazz..." After a fit of some more 'coughing' Helga managed to answer. "I'm personally amazed no one's chopped off a limb or something. The boy seem dangerously close, though..." she trailed off thoughtfully. Yes, the boys would likely start a revolt with kitchen knifes. "Remind me to lock up the knives."

"Believe me- being this tall isn't that fun. I feel like a bloody giant when I have to teach the first years and it always feels like I could stand on them. Well , we all could in one sense, but you get what I mean..." He was babbling, she could tell, but not nearly as badly as Helga often did. That was her number one vice. Nervous, stressed, excitement, all manner of emotions could induce verbal diarrhea, which was rather embarrassing. But Godric was almost normal compared to her. "Well, not all of us have to worry about accidentally squishing first years. I worry about being squished by first years," she said wryly.

"Yes. Because the little Ravenclaw would clearly rip my head off and put it on a spike in the entrance hall as a warning to all the students and anyone else who's stupid enough to dare cross her. The cocky bastard decided that it would be a fun idea to stick a pair of my shoes to the ceiling in my classroom. One of my students pointed it out to me before I came here." He paused for a moment, looking thoughtful, but continued on somewhat slowly. "I have absolutely no idea what would have made him want to do this..." Leave it to Sally to come up with something that stupid and childish. "What an ass," she sighed. "Rowena is not that sc- wait never mind." Ro did have a terrible temper, and a knack for thinking up cruel and unusual tactics with which to force obedience. Yep, that was Rowena for you. "I bet you can't remember what you did to Sally. You two have been feuding since God-knows-when." She rolled her eyes. Silly boys.

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[Haine]

For a fraction of the moment, Godric actually did imagine what it would be like if he attempted to make a pie. First of all, the recipe book would be lost completely, probably never to be seen by the light of day again. Then Godric would try to improvise the recipe, saying that it couldn't be that hard. Then he would just throw everything together and put it in to cook.Godric would soon get impatient and decide to use magic to get it to cook quicker. This would probably then explode, and Godric would spend a few days hiding from Rowena.

"Ok then, what type of pie has nothing to do with it... I think that it would be a much better idea to just keep all knives in the kitchen. Numerous locks on the kitchen would be a good idea too." This way, Hogwarts would not end up with any dead students, Helga would be fine and Godric wouldn't be paranoid. He grinned. "Come on. You're taller than them, at least... would it be such a crime if we actually did 'accidentally' stand on a few first years?"

... Wow. How the hell did Helga know that? "Since when did you know me so well?" Godric asked curiously, still grinning. He was, of course, ignoring the fact that he and Sally had been fighting for as long as anyone could remember. Godric was just choosing to believe that this meant that Helga cared.

ooc// Crap.

[zara :]]

{helgasusannehufflepuff}
what you're looking for has been here the whole time

[/I] A wonderful plan.

"Since when did you know me so well?" It’s because I love you but you probably don't know it because I'm pretty much terrified you'll hate me if I tell you but I love you, god-damn it, how do you not know?! She almost said the words out loud. "It's because I l-" she cut off abruptly. She couldn’t stop the blush that flooded her face with heat, but managed to hide behind her hair (which was the same shade as her face). “Er, well, it’s not that hard to see that you two despise each other. And it’s great fun watching you two yell at each other.” At least she still retained her ability to speak. Marginally. Although that last part was a bit of a lie. Their feuding wasn't all that public. But hopefully Godric wouldn't notice. Hopefully.

ooc: excuse the epic fail of this post.
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[Haine]

Godric grinned, watching Helga with poorly disguised interest. "Excellent plan. Yet we should work out how it's Sally's fault so we can get our stories straight later. Anyway, Barely taller still means that you're bigger than them. That's a plus, right?" he asked, now staring blankly out of the window. Of all things that he could distract himself by, Godric chose a bloody squirrel in a tree. How... imaginative. The squirrel in question was grey and slightly round. Godric chose to name it Alberta, for some unknown reason. More probably because it was the first name that came into his head.
As you can probably guess, this is one of the reasons why we would rather not ask how Godric's mind works.

"Because you what?" Godric asked, his attention quickly turning from Alberta the squirrel back to Helga. He sighed, knowing that this clearly wasn't the answer he had wanted to hear so badly. "Well I wouldn't say that we despise each other. More that our personalities just clash ... a lot. Like he's a cocky bastard and I'm just... me. For some reason he still counts as one of my best friends. If best friends glue the other's shoes to the ceiling." This caused Godric to come up with a poor revenge idea which I will not bother going into detail about. Like I had mentioned before- we would rather stay out of Godric's mind as much as possible. "Anyway," he carried on. "we've moved on from yelling. Pranking makes it more worth our while."

He smiled slightly. "By now I'd at least like to think that I know when you're not telling me something."

[zara :]]

{helgasusannehufflepuff}
what you're looking for has been here the whole time

[/i] "-it's almost too easy." Salazar probably would kill annoying kids. She would, too, if it weren't for her damnable conscience. Curse her soul! Why couldn't he be a heartless bastard like Salazar? The world would be so much easier without a soul.. So very much easier.

Godric was staring out the window, looking extremely fixated by something. Probably a fluffy bunny or something. God knows the poor kid was insanely easy to distract. She yawned and stretched as he finally tore his attention away from the fixation outside her window and began speaking. "Mhmm, Sally's a giant ass. I can't see why you bother with him, but I guess you could ask me the same about Ro. I hate Sally, you're practically wet your pants every time you see Rowena.. It all makes sense in a weird way. Or maybe I'm just messed up. Either way.." Thank the heavens above Godric hadn't noticed her almost-confession.

...

Oh, wait. "By now I'd at least like to think that I know when you're not telling me something." Damn it. She felt like banging her head against her desk, but, since that would be a little too obvious, she settled for making a mental note to ask Ro to smother her with a pillow. Oh, that would be a lovely conversation. "Hey, Ro, I almost told Godders I love him, so could you do the world a favor and smother me with a pillow? Thanks, you're such a good friend." Oh yes, what a lovely conversation starter. "And how would you know I'm not telling you something?" she asked, at least managing to keep a straight face.

ooc: ALBERTATHESQUIRREL. XD
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[Haine]

BOOYAH. Godric had had an idea. "I need to get payback on Sal, so we can then blame that on the kids..." Godric's conscience had stupidly started to talk to him. Oh no Godric, you can't let him near those poor innocent children! He could easily corrupt their minds... how could you let this happen?
Godric hated when his conscience talked to him. It was such a goody-two-shoes and never liked any of his 'evil plans'. So he chose to ignore it and change subject.

"For one, I have never wet my pants whenever I've seen Rowena. And the difference there is that we don't hate each other. I just have the uncanny knack to get on her nerves. And don't worry - it makes sense to me too. Just one question," Godric paused. "Where does that leave us?"
...
...
...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
That was quite clearly his concsience's words, getting payback for Godric ignoring it.
Oh well.
He couldn't say that he hadn't been thinking it.

Time for another drastic subject change.
"That's simple. You stopped mid-sentence then wouldn't tell me what that sentence was about. Plus you hid behind your hair again," Godric said, leaning towards her slightly on the desk. "So are you going to tell me what this is all about?"

[zara :]]

{helgasusannehufflepuff}
what you're looking for has been here the whole time

[/i]!!" chat like she thought it was? She had definitely not seen that one coming.

Thankfully, Godric was good at changing subjects abruptly, so instead, he steered it to a safer topic. For him, at least. for Helga, it still meant she was going to say something dumb. "That's simple. You stopped mid-sentence then wouldn't tell me what that sentence was about. Plus you hid behind your hair again," Godric said, leaning towards her slightly on the desk. "So are you going to tell me what this is all about?" Helga glared at him, but sighed. Curse him for being observant.

Another order of stupid, coming right up! "I finished the said sentence, so you already know what it was about," she said in a matter-of-fact tone, propping her elbows up on her desk and twining her fingers together. She smirked, but continued, "And for another, I wasn't hiding behind my hair, I was merely admiring my fingernails." She had no shortage of stupid remarks and denials, but she suddenly felt like telling him would probably be the way to go. But then he would stay away from her forever, and that would be horrific.. "I'll make you a deal. I'll tell you why I didn't finish my sentence, but first you have to promise to hear me out, even though you're probably going to want to run out of this room screaming in horror. Deal?" Helga didn't hold out much hope for Godric reciprocating her feelings but continued to stare at him levelly, eyebrows raised in question. She suddenly felt very tired.
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[Haine]

"Okay, you've got me there." Godric said with a sigh. He couldn't help but wonder what would happen to him when- no, IF Rowena caught him this time. She was getting very good at doing so. This was probably because Godric usually thought it was an exceptionally good idea to hide in the same place.
He didn't bother responding when Helga finally answered his question, just nodded silently. Even if Godric had actually answered, the glare that she sent his way would have surely shut him up.
...
And he thought Rowena was the scary one. Suddenly Godric decided that it was probably no longer safe to sit on the desk as for all he knew, the very pissed looking Helga could keep the knives in a drawer in her desk. He therefore quickly moved to sit on top one of the student's desks. This one was probably one of the least burnt. Now that there was a safe distance between them, Godric considered himself free to laugh. "Sure you were. Care to try again?"

Godric was feeling slightly guilty for pursuing a clearly unwanted subject like this, knowing that he would be answering the same way to the impertinent questions. However, like he did to his concsience, Godric chose to ignore the stupid nagging feeling.
"Run out of this room screaming in horror? I'm sure it can't be that bad. Anyway, Deal. I promise to hear you out."

ooc// Crappy and very long overdue. DDD: