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Post by zara :] on Oct 22, 2009 19:02:54 GMT -5
With an entourage, this time! Oh Joy! How lovely, eh?
...
It's not lovely. Not. Lovely. At. All. Except this time, they went waaay overboard. There's a fine line between teasing and being an outright douche-bag, and these idiots jumped that line on a burning VW bus going 200 and never looked back.
2 of the 3 douche-bags in this story are new, so I'll call the, King Douchebag and His Underling. The other one, which I'm sure you'll be familiar with, is Douche-Bag #1, who starred in my last story of Utter Douchebaggery.
Anyways, I should get to the asshole-ishness in this story, shouldn't I? Well, it began today in CALM class. CALM being Career and Life Management, a class I have to take to graduate. Ironically, half the class is failing that class. One guy has 6%. But the idiocy of my class in general will have to wait, because King Douchebag, His Underling and Douchebag 1 ARE COMPLETE FUCKING ASSHOLES AND I WANT TO RIP THEIR INSIDES OUT WITH A RUSTY COAT HANGER.
You should also know that King DoucheBag is over 6 feet tall, and I'm only 5 foot 4. Quite a difference, amirite? And King DoucheBag, and DB 1 have repeatedly annoyed the shit out of me. They're always touching me. I don't know why, but they are just obsessed with harassing me all THE FUCKING TIME. And today in CALM they were pissing me off more than usual, so I told them all to kindly fuck off before I bitch-slapped them with a meter stick and gutted them with a stapler.
I told them this repeatedly. But what do they do? Well, they didn't earn their titles for nothing, you know. THEY DELIBERATELY TOUCHED ME AND STOOD INCHES FROM MY FACE. ALL FUCKING THREE OF THEM. I yelled at them SO MANY FUCKING TIMES. But what do they do? THEY FOLLOW ME EVERYWHERE EVEN AFTER I MADE IT CLEAR I DIDN'T WANT THEM IN A 3-KILOMETER RADIUS OF ME.
I don't know, but they didn't get the message. And King Douchebag is over 6 feet tall, keep that in mind. Which makes it pretty much impossible for me to shove him out of the way unless I have a chainsaw. I feel so fucking violated, like it's not even funny. And DB 1 has been doing this all fucking year. So I told him to go crawl under a rock and fuck himself, and he gets awwwwl saaad, "I'm sowwy!" Which pisses me off even more BECAUSE HE ALWAYS DOES THIS EVEN AFTER I TELL HIM NOT TO.
I verbally bitch-slapped his ass into outer space and told him he could go die.
Sounds like enough to keep someone away from me for a very, very long time, right? ... Not these douchebags. Except maybe His Underling, but King Douchebag is busily teaching him the ways of the Douchebags, so I suspect it won't be long before they're all back harassing me.
Oh fucking Joy.
...
It's not lovely. Not. Lovely. At. All. Except this time, they went waaay overboard. There's a fine line between teasing and being an outright douche-bag, and these idiots jumped that line on a burning VW bus going 200 and never looked back.
2 of the 3 douche-bags in this story are new, so I'll call the, King Douchebag and His Underling. The other one, which I'm sure you'll be familiar with, is Douche-Bag #1, who starred in my last story of Utter Douchebaggery.
Anyways, I should get to the asshole-ishness in this story, shouldn't I? Well, it began today in CALM class. CALM being Career and Life Management, a class I have to take to graduate. Ironically, half the class is failing that class. One guy has 6%. But the idiocy of my class in general will have to wait, because King Douchebag, His Underling and Douchebag 1 ARE COMPLETE FUCKING ASSHOLES AND I WANT TO RIP THEIR INSIDES OUT WITH A RUSTY COAT HANGER.
You should also know that King DoucheBag is over 6 feet tall, and I'm only 5 foot 4. Quite a difference, amirite? And King DoucheBag, and DB 1 have repeatedly annoyed the shit out of me. They're always touching me. I don't know why, but they are just obsessed with harassing me all THE FUCKING TIME. And today in CALM they were pissing me off more than usual, so I told them all to kindly fuck off before I bitch-slapped them with a meter stick and gutted them with a stapler.
I told them this repeatedly. But what do they do? Well, they didn't earn their titles for nothing, you know. THEY DELIBERATELY TOUCHED ME AND STOOD INCHES FROM MY FACE. ALL FUCKING THREE OF THEM. I yelled at them SO MANY FUCKING TIMES. But what do they do? THEY FOLLOW ME EVERYWHERE EVEN AFTER I MADE IT CLEAR I DIDN'T WANT THEM IN A 3-KILOMETER RADIUS OF ME.
I don't know, but they didn't get the message. And King Douchebag is over 6 feet tall, keep that in mind. Which makes it pretty much impossible for me to shove him out of the way unless I have a chainsaw. I feel so fucking violated, like it's not even funny. And DB 1 has been doing this all fucking year. So I told him to go crawl under a rock and fuck himself, and he gets awwwwl saaad, "I'm sowwy!" Which pisses me off even more BECAUSE HE ALWAYS DOES THIS EVEN AFTER I TELL HIM NOT TO.
I verbally bitch-slapped his ass into outer space and told him he could go die.
Sounds like enough to keep someone away from me for a very, very long time, right? ... Not these douchebags. Except maybe His Underling, but King Douchebag is busily teaching him the ways of the Douchebags, so I suspect it won't be long before they're all back harassing me.
Oh fucking Joy.
