Speak of me as I am; nothing extenuate - Thalia

[Haine]

Then must you speak
Of one that lov'd not wisely but too well;
Of one not easily jealous, but being wrought,
Perplex'd in the extreme...

Othello Act 5, scene 2, 340–346

Gossip truly did spend like wildfire in this place. Phil's day had been going quite well until breakfast (only ten minutes after he'd gotten up) where he sat down at the Ravenclaw table, the table going quiet when he did so. You all know what this meant- they all knew something that he didn't, or Phil himself had done something exceptionally stupid and was currently in 'exhile'. Phil couldn't remember doing such a thing, so it there was something that he didn't know.
Brilliant.

Obviously no one was going to tell him, so Phil just sat there like an idiot, having no idea why the hell he was receiving all these wierd looks. Things didn't improve when Gideon came over and apologised, saying that he felt really sorry for Phil.
"Sorry for what?" Phil replied, feeling even more stupid.
"... You don't know?" Now Gideon looked concerned. This day was getting better by the minute.
"Obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be asking."
"Maybe I shouldn't be the one to tell you."
"Do it anyway."
"Well I heard from Fabian who heard from Damocles who heard from Ara who heard from Leann-"
"Does this story come with a point, Gidi?" Phil really wasn't in the mood for this right now.
"... Thalia screwed Calvin. Yesterday."
Phil didn't say anything, he just turned and walked away and started to head... well, anywhere. As long as it wasn't there. Anywhere where there wouldn't be people.

He ended up in the astronomy tower, leaning on the railing and looking out over at the black lake. Right now he had no idea what to fucking believe.

[Dea]

Well damn.

She was getting some pretty nasty looks today. Leanne had told her that pretty much everybody knew what had happened between her and Calvin.

Thalia then thought about Phil. She was only just starting to feel a bit guilty. Wow, she was a bitch. Maybe she should tell him before someone els-

God damn you, Gideon. Now he was walking off.

She fidgeted for a minute, trying to decide whether or not to follow him. What would she say? 'Hey Phil, I totally had sex with another guy. How're you?'
That wasn't exactly nice.

She made her decision, and jogged after him, eventually finding him in the Astronomy Tower.

Well.

"Hi, Phil," she said. Well. That was...

Pretty lame. Act like nothing had happened. Wonderful, Thalia.

[Haine]

Well, he was alone. Now what?
Phil wasn't exactly in the mood to think, let alone do anything else at the moment. He ended up attempting to at least get his thoughts straight.
Gideon had heard all ...'that' through gossip, which you weren't really meant to believe in, were you? Yet the gossip at Hogwarts was usually amazingly accurate. And detailed. Phil had learnt a lot about it after what had happened with him and Autumn- here it wasn't like a game of chinese whispers. It wasn't that one person started by telling the truth and by the time you heard it, it was completely impossible and outrageous. The same message got passed on to everyone, which meant that gossip hurt just as much as truth. And that it was exceptionally likely that Thalia really did--
No. He wasn't ready to think about that just yet.

Phil heard the door open yet didn't bother to turn around. Hopefully whoever it was would bugger the hell off and not attempt to talk to him. Even Phil didn't know what he would do if they did.
...
Oh goddammit.
It was her.
"What do you want?" he asked, still not turning around.
Well, that was certainly... polite.

[Dea]

Thalia flinched. Her turn to be chewed out.
And, most likely, dumped.
Wow, Thalia. You really are amazing.

"Er. So you heard?" Shit. That's great.
"I shouldn't have - I should have - What I did was stupid. And I shouldn't have. And...Yeah, I'm just digging a deeper hole for myself," she finished. She then braced herself for whatever was coming next.

It couldn't be good.

[Haine]

"How'd you guess?" Phil replied, still not turning around. It was hard enough as it is to even talk to Thalia at the moment, he couldn't imagine what it would be like to have to face her as well. Especially now that she'd pretty much agreed that the rumours were true. And didn't that make him feel freaking fan-bloody-tastic?

"Exactly. You shouldn't have. And when did you realise this? Just now or when you screwed him?" Even Phil was suprised at how harsh he sounded. You know what I mean- it was Phil of all people. The general nice guy. The dork. He didn't do harsh.
Oh well.
He was hurt. He was angry. He had every right to be harsh.
"So, anything else you want to tell me, or am I just going to be left to find these out through gossip too?"
Well, at least it proved that Leanne was good for something.

[Dea]

"-Or when you screwed him?"
Thalia flinched. She knew worse was to come.

"I...When...It was..." Oh, wonderful. What the hell was wrong with you, Thalia?

"I should have told you. And I was going to, I swear. But. I. Shit, Phil. I screwed up - Messed up, big time. And...I'm sorry, and..." Thalia whacked her head against the nearest wall. Spit it out, girl.

"I realised afterwards. I could blame it on raging hormones. Or on Calvin. But it was my fault. And I'm so, so sorry. I'm a bitch," she finished.

She sounded a pathetic sod. Which, in all honesty, was pretty much what she was.

[Haine]

The one problem with this situation was that even Phil knew from experience that there truly was no way to say you'd caused shit like this without hurting someone. You don't tell them, they say that it would be better if you had told them. Sureee. And how the hell were you meant to tell them, exactly? In all honesty, it probably made things worse. Hell - he couldn't believe he was thinking this- it was probably a whole lot better that she didn't tell him. It made it so much easier for him.

Phil turned around slowly, leaning against the railing. He stayed silent, having no goddamn clue how to react to that. She did sound sincere. Yet he was still angry. And hurt. "It's not that you didn't tell me," he eventually said, as calmly as he could, "yet the fact that you did it anyway."

And what else could he say to that? Phil tried to keep as far as he could away from the land of 'hormones' and 'girl stuff', as did every male. Well, not every male but- you get what I mean. Phil had never liked Calvin at the best of times. 'Bitch' wouldn't be the exact word that he would have chosen...
Got it.

"Have you ever noticed how this sort of shit only happens to us?"

[Dea]

"I shouldn't have." Wowww, Thalia. How wonderful.

She was really starting to feel guilty. Why had she done that? She saw the look on Phil's face, and basically felt her insides twist. She was a bitch.

"...It does always happen to us. Maybe it means something," Thalia said, sighing. Everything had just happened so fast the past few days.

Really went to show how fast everything could change.

[Haine]

Phil didn't bother replying to that, instead just sending Thalia a look that told her she was speaking the obvious and pretty much just repeating what he had said. He let out a sigh, silently preparing himself for what he was going to do next. What he had to do.

Sure, in some aspects it wasn't that hard, considering what had happened to them and shit. Yet on the other hand, he may have even loved her. Note the past participle there. Because whatever Phil had felt before was buried under everything else right now. And everything else was hell big. "That's thing. I don't think I can-- I can't do this anymore." he corrected himself, now waiting for Thalia to speak.

Everything really was going by so fast.

[Dea]

Thalia just let the words sink in. She knew it was coming, but she couldn't help flinching, yet again.

"That's...That's fair," she managed to say at last. She wasn't going to cry. Or put up a fight. Instead, she was just going to stand there. Like a lemon.

Maybe she should move.
"Sorry, Phil. Really, I am," she said softly, as she turned to exit the Astronomy Tower, via the stairs.

[Haine]

-Closed-

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